The husband and wife should live to serve each other, but most of all, they should live to serve God. Even the most submissive of wives will test you from time to time. These tests might be intentional, or they might be subconscious, but the purpose of these tests are to ensure that she is safe in your leadership.
A test might like look outright intentional disobedience, or it might be more subtle - testing a boundary, pushing you to get a reaction, or generally bratty behavior. The key to passing these tests are to recognize them for what they are. On the other side of the spectrum, you can also fail these tests by being aloof, indifferent, or giving in. These reactions tell her that she is not safe with you, and impairs her ability to fully submit.
Imagine that you were play-wrestling with your kids. So it should be when your wife tests you. Your reaction to her should be loving, secure, and somewhat amused.
My wife recently announced that she was on a laundry strike. I could have lost my temper and yelled at her, which would have probably resulted in the laundry getting done but her feeling unsafe in my leadership.
This would have also left her feeling unsafe in my leadership. Picking the story back up …. In fact, I should get started now. This is a new a blog and I would love to find more similar ones to follow.
My dashboard looks so empty! Thank you! Posts Likes Following Archive. The Importance of Amused Mastery Even the most submissive of wives will test you from time to time. Passing the test can be equally easy by exercising a technique called amused mastery. Amused Mastery in Action My wife recently announced that she was on a laundry strike. Now, there are a couple ways I could have failed this test.
Where is your picket sign? Hey, what are you doing? Top Photos.Affiong Ofem Ubana will fill the vacuum in him. Obol Ofem told journalists shortly after his traditional marriage on Saturday in Ugep, Yakurr local government area that his decision was not wrong traditionally and pointed out that there will be peace in his home.
Today history has been made in Ugep as the Obol Lopon of Ugep is marrying a second wife. The event which one could mistaken for another Leboku festival was a colorful one with the wife of the Cross River Governor, Dr. Linda Ayade, who was represented by her aide, Mrs.
Rose Eneji, the Commissioner for Lands, Mr. Taiwo Adedeji, former Abi local government area Chairman, Mr. Chris Agube and officials of MTN as well as family, friends, well wishers and relatives. His wife, formerly Miss Affiong Ikpi Edet who graduated from the Cross River College of Education, Akamkpa in and is the daughter of the Okpebri of Ugep whose role is akin to that of a Prime Minister, is pregnant and Obol Ofem promised to love, cherish, protect and care for her.
Also, Obol Ofem commended those who attended the event. On her part, the bride, Mrs.
Affiong Obol Ofem expressed her health felt satisfaction to see the turn out to witnessed her marriage and promised to do everything humanly possible to sustain Peace in the palace.
Affiong Ofem that it will be a blessed Union. We will support them materially and in prayers. And, Mr. He disclosed that Obol Ofem was a very keen sport person who enlisted into the Nigerian Army and rose to the position of Master Warrant Officer. He was able to return the AK 47 rifle that was taken by the youths of Abi from the Police; today he has decided to add another feather to his cap as we join in this celebration. For the bride, Miss Ene said that the bride is a nice person and noted that she was loyal and knows how to keep secrets.
Igile told CrossRiverWatch that the Obol can take as many wives as possible and had already announced steps to prevent any conflict. Short Link:. Click Here. Advertise On CrossRiverWatch. Journalist News Editor at www. Inyang Asibong has urged the people of.
Admin March 6, Share Tweet. Share this now. Since You Are Here, Support Good Journalism CrossRiverWatch was founded on the ideals of deploying tech tools to report in an ethical manner, news, views and analysis with a narrative that ensures transparency in governance, a good society and an accountable democracy.
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Click the Facebook Messenger Icon below to subscribe now. Admin Journalist News Editor at www. You may also read! Leave a reply: Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Mobile Sliding Menu Search for:.You will find this list useful if you are trying to marry a Calabar girl. The efik kingdom of Cross River State, Nigeria has a rich cultural heritage just like most Nigerian tribes.
Apart from the mouth watering delicacies, the efiks have more in culture that explodes the mind and leaves you intrigued. One of the aspects that portray this beautiful culture is the unique traditional marriage rites. When a man in love with an efik lady wishes to take the relationship to the next level, he first of all informs his family who will join him in writing a letter to the family of the girl, stating their intention.
He either agrees with the list or debates with the girls family for moderation. Traditional marriage lists in efik land which come with a set of rites and gifts can be moderated depending on the families involved.
Here is a summary of drinks to be presented by the groom. One brigadier brandy, one star and two soft drinks. The list above is a generic and is subject to change. The efik bride price is a standard 12 pounds, it was set in pounds because of the colonial influence and was converted to 24 naira back then. It is advisable to pay in pounds today because of the fluctuating exchange rate.
In preparation for marriage, a prospective bride in efik land is sent to the fattening room. The girl is usually cared for by elderly women of her clan but not necessarily her mother.
The fattening room aims at teaching the girl how to prepare special delicacies, how to be good in bed and basically how to raise a happy family. The girl often acquires an admirable waistline, a fresh and robust look and a smooth skin as a result of traditional massage and skin therapy. She also acquires skills like calabash making and special dance steps which she will display on the day of her marriage. Being an old tradition, the duration of the fattening room depended on how fast the girl acquires skills and responds to beauty therapy but in recent times the rites are carried out a day or two before the marriage ceremony.
A graduation ceremony takes place after fattening room and this ceremony is always scheduled to hold on the traditional marriage day or a day before. The akpangkpang an expensive commodity is very rare these days because not every family can afford it. Royal families who own it put it up for hire to those in need.
She dances round curtseying in appreciation to the guests before she takes a seat beside her groom. The ceremony ends as the couple take the dance floor while well wishers join them ad mist eating, drinking and much jubilation.
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Obol Lopon Of Ugep Begins Marital Rites For Second Wife
Japanese marriage 2 h 29 min Darkkllord - 8. Japanese time stop fuck bride and sexy girl at pool 1 h 56 min Davidlee - 4. Japanese mother fucking 1 h 44 min Model Av - 7.History is a very essential part of any community, person or organization. In Yakurr community, a story is never complete without a story divulging how they got to where they are and the struggles which some individuals must have made to ensure that it happened.
History reveals the identity of a people. It gives a detail narration of the past events that occurred leading to the present day. That is why this post has been aimed at giving us a brief insight about the history of the great Yakurr community, a community in Cross river state, Nigeria.
There were problems with the Europeans who visited in the early days with pronouncing these names that in turn led to the adoption of the present day clan names.
Historians have not been completely able to pinpoint the exact location in which the Yakurr community sprouted from. Noble Professors have given their views as to where they believed was the first location of the people of Yakurr. Another astute individual Dr. The Ikomites however helped and confirmed his assertion that the Yakurr people were their neighbors at that point in time.
However another historian by the name Enang Basset agreed with Dr. However due to heated conflicts in matters relating to serious violation of burial rights, the Yakurr people were left with no choice than to migrate from their ancestral location to their present location. Their migration was believed to be the done in a number of phases. The first phase was believed to have been constituted by Ugep, Mkpani and Idomi.
While the second phase was carried out by Ekori and the third phase by Nko. The Yakurr people have definitely been around for ages past. Their migration was estimated to have occured around AD The migration period was believed to be within and The migration was decided after they had lost a war.
However, their migration from their ancestral homes had been attributed to quite a number of the reasons and not just limited to the mere conflict regarding burial rites. Other reasons which contributed to their migration include: competing demands for land resources and also the swift increase in which their population was rising. ADsome Yakurr migrants had already started establishing their homelands in their present locations.
The first clans to establish theirs were Idomi and Ugep. Not too long after, between the year andtwo other Yakurr migrants had established their clans at present day Ekori and Nko. Mkpani settlement also founded their clans between the period of and Historians were able to discover that Yakurr was founded by a woman called Obia, a princess from Abiriba in igboland. She was believed to have had a conflict with her father over the administration of the palace system which in turn led to her leaving the land.
It was on her journey that she encountered a hunter in a town called Akpa and explained her ordeal to him and not long after they got married. She formed the first dynasty of Yakurr. This angered Princess Obia but she had no choice than to surrender her throne. She passed on the title of Obol kingship to her son Ibe. Obol Ibe began the second Yakurr dynasty and he was a ruler greatly loved by his subjects.
He was able to prove himself as a great leader with lots of charisma and a valiant warrior. He proved his valor and strength in battle with many victories he gained during various wars which he fought. The towns he conquered during battles were brought into his community and treated as part of his family. He lived a full life but on his sick bed he had a misunderstanding with some of his neighbors which led to an attack on Yako and not long after that period he died.
The people of Yakurr will forever be grateful to the Princess Obia who named them and through her battles with her husband was able to bring these clans together. They might have not been indigenes of Cross river state but their triumphs have led to the creation of the biggest ethnic group in Cross river state. This is the brief history of my community, a community that sprouted from nowhere, battled wars and still stood strong and can now boast of being the largest ethnic group in the state and a host to one of the largest festivals in Africa.What does it mean to have a successful marriage?
What if there are alternatives to the traditional marriage model? So, I was feeling that shame, too.
7 Alternatives To Traditional Marriage
Not that we have perfect gender equality these days, but women can vote, own property, sign any damn document we please.
Theoretically, we can do any job we want — and, theoretically, we should be paid the same amount. So if we take away the till-death-do-us-part part; if we strip back the assumption of monogamy, if we really examine marriage as an institution, what can we come with?
Here are seven alternatives to traditional marriage that they uncovered. A Starter Marriage is an opportunity for a couple to give a marriage a shot, without making a lifelong commitment. While the official contract is a regular marriage license, people in a starter marriage also write their own contract and set an expiration date for their marriage.
Couples in a Starter Marriage agree not to have children during the duration of the initial contract. A Parenting Marriage is exactly what it sounds like — a marriage whose main focuses is raising children.
The main purpose is not romance or even sex but instead raising children together. In a Parenting Marriage, two people agree to stay together until their kid is an adult. The Living Alone Together Marriage is when a couple lives in different places — either different cities or just different houses — while staying married. It requires really strong trust between partners, excellent communication, and can lead to some creative forms of intimacy.
While most of the marriage alternatives listed in The New I Do provide more flexibility than traditional marriage, a Covenant Marriage provides less. A Covenant Marriage is a legal alternative marriage document the only one in the U. In order to enter into a Covenant Marriage, couples have to attend premarital counseling and meet other requirements. Covenant Marriages are popular with people who are highly religious.
A Safety Marriage is one in which one half of the couple is marrying for financial security. Larson and Gadoua point out that marriage is always a business contract and a Safety Marriage just takes that a step further than traditional marriages. However, the authors caution that an ethical Safety Marriage includes explicit conversations about why each person is choosing to be married. Each couple has to decide on their boundaries and limitations for those outside experiences, of course.
Do any of these alternatives to traditional marriage catch your eye? Even if no one model seems like the perfect fit for you, I hope that you walk away from this really thinking about marriage. What does it mean to you? Starter Marriage. Companionship Marriage. Parenting Marriage. Living Alone Together Marriage.
Covenant Marriage. Safety Marriage.Poster1,just a quick question, what part of the bible says older siblings must Marry before the younger ones? So you believe he loves you because this I believe because he always says he likes fair girls and has always been unlucky finding one, also says he likes my family backgroundyou are dumb.
You sense of reason is so barbaric University graduate indeed God help you. Poster 1, so many irrelevant things are the things you are taking so seriously. U don't evn have a job o, and you want to get married. I am tired of telling young girls to get a job first and have some savings before diving into marriage, so at least you can hold your own. When you have don that, we can then talk abt marriage.
Poster 2: you are not in a marriage, you are in a situation. Just leave and pick the pieces of your life all over again. Some parents are something else.
Poster 1 wait for ur boyfriend. Guys r usually more loyal so I believe he will marry u Wn he is OK. Just don't wait for him to hammer to much cis den competition go come from other Chics. Just enof to get u guys started. Forget d other dude biko. Money comes n goes. He didn't have money once like ur guy. Let ur sis marry na. Haba she us ready. My younger sis got married before all of us n she is d fourth girl ooo. So free her joor inukwa. Poster 2.
What r u waiting for to run from dat marriage. Leave now with ur life. Work on urself. Just leave n den live life.
Poster 1, u don't seem exposed. Pls don't make stupid decisions Biko. So becos you don't want your sister to get married to you So what if your younger sis marries b4 u?? U made her postpone her wedding already because of your insecurities. Pls pls pls poster one receive sense. Poster 1. U better learn from poster 2's story. U r so timid. U better marry for love. U think marriage is beans abi. Continue o.